Invictus-Get ready for a 'triumph of the human spirit'

Inverted or Invictus?Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

~William Ernest Henley

We will suspend reality and accept that Matt Damon is 6' 3" and 238 lbs for one reason: this is an excellent story, despite being an All Blacks supporter.

San Diego Padres: Greatness on the Block at the Winter Meetings

Yesterday while driving home I divided my time between XX1090 with Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton and Xtra Sports 1360's The Drive, with Josh Rosenberg and Jeff Dotseth. Both shows are entertaining and informative. Yesterday's programs both leaned towards entertaining, for the exact same reasons: the maniacal callers.

Both programs spent chunks of time discussing the Padres and their 'possible' actions at the Baseball Winter Meetings in Indianapolis. There have been a few Padre trade rumors, primarily centered around Kevin Kouzmanoff and Heath Bell. After listening to San Diego's callers you would have been certain that the community regarded Kevin Kouzmanoff as the second coming of Mike Schmidt, George Brett, and Brooks Robinson all rolled into one super fantastic player. I have news for sports radio caller: HE'S NOT. HE'S JUST A DUDE. A DUDE WHO HITS FOR LESS POWER THAN A CORNER INFIELDER SHOULD! A DUDE WHO STRIKES OUT A LOT. A DUDE WHO NEVER WALKS!! LET ME REPEAT.........HE'S JUST A GUY!!!!!!!!

Now let me offer this disclaimer. I like Kevin Kouzmanoff. If I could go get a beer with one Padre it would probably be him (perhaps Heath Bell just to hear the sh*t he would say). He seems like a great guy and he puts forth a nice effort, day in and day out. He plays a solid, if not range deficient, third base. I'd also be ecstatic if he was only required to be the #7 or #8 hitter in our line-up......but he's not. Kevin Kouzmanoff is supposed to be the guy who protects Adrian Gonzalez and in that roll he under performs quite dramatically.

If Padre fans want to see a team that is actually moving forward heading into 2010 they may have to accept the fact that a deal involving Kevin Kouzmanoff may be the means to that end.

You see, we already have a 3rd baseman named Chase Headley. He was the organization's minor league player of the year not so long ago, the Padres' #1 rated prospect, so let's give him a chance to develop at his natural position. Then we can give Kyle Blanks a chance to play everyday in LF which might be a good thing for his development. Oh yea......that guy Will Venable......how 'bout we see if his second half of 2009 was the real thing or a fluke by giving him everyday ABs out in RF. Guys must be given a chance moving forward and right now Kevin Kouzmanoff is impeding the development of our other players. We know what Kouz is; and so do the other MLB clubs. If he can gain us a another piece of the puzzle then make the deal happen, young Jed Hoyer.

In Summation:
Please stop complaining that the sky is falling because Kouz might be dealt.......And please, never ever let me hear the following phrase uttered again on talk radio:

"If Kouz gets traded then I'm not going to a game for the next 10 years. I'm done"

If that's what you think, then you really have no expectation of a championship in San Diego......and you are dumber than the day is long!

I would also prefer to never hear the following from a radio caller regarding Kouz trade talk:

"Why are they going to move him? If it ain't broke, then don't fix it!"

It is broke.....YOU F*CKING MORON! The Padres are coming off of 4th and 5th place finishes!

If San Diego's fans continue to call in with such asinine opinions it is incumbent upon Lee Hamilton, Jeff Dotseth, and Josh Rosenberg to destroy these mindless a**hats with extreme prejudice. I would say that this is all just my humble opinion but doing so would suggest that the Kouz-lovers have a leg to stand on.......which they DON'T!!!

Go Padres
(I apologize for an excessively bold-italic-CAPITALIZED-24 point font induced tirade)

Vencie Says: Know your history....and play some 4th quarter 'D' for cryin' out loud!

I finally nailed the necessary combination of DVR-ing to be able to see Sunday Night Football in San Diego with Jim Laslavic, in its entirety.

Firstly, you must be sure to record Sunday Night Football or at least set the DVR near the end of the game (AJM recommends between 7:45-8:30 pm) so you don't miss the start of SNF in San Diego on Channel 7 NBC, with Jim Laslavic.

Secondly, you must record the Sunday Night Football in San Diego program itself at 8:30 pm. This seems counter intuitive but it's worth mentioning because.......sometimes shit just happens.

Thirdly, you must record Monk at 9:00 pm. Yes Monk with Tony Shalhoub.

Timing is a b*tch with NBC. Between commercial interests and the occasional Viking who breaks his femur you never know how long SNF will last. Consequently you never know how long Laz, Vencie, JR, and La Roi will be on the tube.......which means you better record Monk with Tony Shalhoub too, or you might miss the Pearls of Wisdom from our main man Vencie Glenn! Without further adieu:

On LT passing the legendary Jim Brown on the all time rushing list:
"I like the fact he's a historian, ya know? A lot of these young players they don't know the history of the game. They don't realize that Emmitt Smith didn't invent the running game. There were guys before him. But ya know he's a historian, he understands the guys that paved the way for him. And I really respect that."

On the Chargers' shaky 4th quarter defense:
"They have to learn to close out games. When you got a Brady Quinn and a team you dominated all game and you give up 17 points in the 4th quarter, you can't have that if you're talkin' about making a playoff run.....cuz these teams will eat you up in the playoffs."

"If you're going to win a championship, and La Roi [La Roi Glover] knows this, you have to shut down teams in the 4th quarter......and get off the field."

On upcoming opponent, Cowboy QB, Tony Romo:
"When he plays in December.....is it December yet..... he don't win. The stats don't lie. The stats don't lie. He just can't get it done in December."

Vencie is right. Stats don't lie. We look forward to next Sunday Mr. Romo.

Vencie Glenn pulls no punches. Nor does AJM.

Avenging Jack Murphy Obtains Top Secret Browns' Gameplan

Without a General Manager, Browns' coach Eric Mangini is a virtual lame duck in Cleveland, and as such he has no choice but to show he can be an innovative play caller going forward. Once a sterling Belichick lieutenant, Mangini now resembles a steaming floater in Lake Erie with his inability to lead the Cleveland franchise. His current Browns stint coupled with the disastrous ending with the Jets in 2008 has left the man, once dubbed "Mangenius", in a very precarious situation.

AJM has obtained Mangini's game plan and it is anything but conventional for this afternoon's tilt with the rolling San Diego Chargers. Any observer of NFL football knows two things regarding the Cleveland Browns:

1. Brady Quinn's arms are more for showcasing ripped biceps than for throwing a football.
2. With Jamal Lewis out and Kellen Winslow and Braylen Edwards having been dealt, Cleveland's Joshua Cribbs is the only viable weapon for a Browns' attack.

This is where Mangini's plan lacks convention; because Cribbs' effectiveness is best utilized as a kick returner it is in that facet of the game that he must get touches for his star. As the #3 ranked kick returner in the NFL, Mangini is going to concede points to the Chargers offense so that Cribbs can maximize his touches. This strategy could lead to a lot of crooked numbers being hung today which wouldn't be half bad entertainment value.

While a shootout may be fun, I just can't help but think that Mangini is underestimating the Chargers' special teams. With the exception of the Broncos game at Jack Murphy Field the special teams unit hasn't been that bad, but desperate measures are often the mark of desperate men. Eric Mangini is the model of desperation.

We say get Cribbs involved all you want......this cockamamie game plan has ZERO chance of succeeding!

Chargers 37 Browns 13

The Philip Rivers Commemorative Coin

The football/humor site, Kissing Suzy Kolber, generally makes a living off of taking the piss out of a good many players in the NFL..........Philip Rivers is no exception to their scorn.

Each Tuesday they take photos from the previous weekend of football delight and add captions. While Philip usually takes a beating at the site this photoshop was outstanding!!!

Go to Kissing Suzy Kolber's LOLNFL: Week 12 for more hilarity.

Things Could Always Be Worse: see life as an Oakland Raider fan

Raider Fans have organized an effort to encourage Al Davis to take hold of the franchise by hiring a competent, non crypt-keeper-like individual, to handle personnel matters. The guerrilla fan organization is taking place in the form of bill board advertisement and will surely conclude with terrorist activity and the abduction of Al Davis.

Part of the plea by Raider fan is the recognition by Al Davis that it is simply unacceptable for such a proud franchise to be on its way to a 7th consecutive season of 11 losses or more-----no where on the site is there any reference to losing 13 consecutive contests to their rival out of San Diego.

I appreciate the efforts made by these Raider fans even though I find them, for the most part, a deplorable blight on humanity. They need money to continue the billboard effort and they are currently soliciting donations: MessageTo Al.com

While I applaud their dedication they won't be getting dime 1 out of me......I wouldn't want any roadblocks to getting win #14 in a row, come early 2010.

Always remember.............things could be worse.

Laziness Yields Pointless Posts

This is merely an excuse to show the reunion picture for the 50 greatest Chargers which has become my background photo for the enormous time suck known as Twitter----where venom and vitriol can be abbreviated to 140 characters or less.

Chargers vs. Chiefs: I'm not reinventing the wheel

My only input on this game is that I think it will be a blowout. The Chargers are well aware that the Chiefs are capable of defeating them.....see Steelers falling in OT at Arrowhead last week. The Chargers won't fall into this trap.

Other than that half-ass-analysis I'm not going to reinvent the wheel. There are plenty of others who've put together Charger/Chief game previews so here's what they're saying....


Chiefs-Chargers: What To Watch For [619 Sports Craig Elsten and JT Rogan]

Game Preview: Kansas City Chiefs at San Diego Chargers [Bolts From The Blue]

Chargers vs. Chiefs: Five Things To Watch For [UT Kevin Acee]

Why the Chargers Game May Get Blacked Out: the Longshanks Effect

In the film Braveheart, King Edward's character famously said:

"The problem with Scotland.....is that its FULL of Scots!"

Well this Charger fan will dutifully paraphrase the cruel Longshanks and posit the following:

"The problem with San Diego.....is that its FULL of transplants!"

This ladies and gentlemen is the Longshanks Effect.

I mean that with kindness and absolutely no disrespect to......myself. I am a transplant but I've lived here long enough to know where my bread is buttered and unfortunately I can't say the same for a good many of my neighbors. Because of this indisputable truth we face the possibility of a blackout for Sunday's Chargers/Chiefs game if 1300 tickets aren't sold by tomorrow. San Diego may have a resident pool of over 1 million but that figure does not ring true for the Charger fan base. So what to do? The Union Tribune's Jay Posner proposed the following in his media column this morning:

What better weekend could there be for the Spanos family to buy the remaining tickets, donate them to some worthy causes (military, fire, police, youth groups, etc.) and give all of Southern California a huge thank you for its support over the years? After all, coming off years of ineptitude, the Chargers have sold out every game since 2004 and TV ratings are at their highest point in too many years to count.

I'm sure the Chargers could find a couple of sponsors to join up, and they could hit up KFMB Channel 8, which must be making gobs of money off those huge ratings. But even if they couldn't, so what?

Sure, it's easy for me to spend the Spanoses' money, but we're really not talking about that much cash. To a fan or a sponsor, the cost would be somewhere in the neighborhood of $225,000 — 3,000 tickets at about $75 a pop. But the Chargers' cost wouldn't be nearly that high, because the club wouldn't actually “buy” the tickets. Instead, the Chargers would have to pay only the 34 percent of each ticket that goes into a pool the league later distributes equally to all teams (so they'd get back 1/32nd of the money).

Thirty-four percent of $225,000 is $76,500. But that doesn't factor in that some of those 3,000 extra fans would pay $25 to park, plus all of them would figure to spend at least $10 — and probably much more, given the prices — at the concession stands.

See, it's really not that outrageous, is it? Shoot, the Chargers could almost make a profit by doing this.

Sounds good to me and I would venture a guess that either the Chargers or Channel 8 will pick up the tab when the bell tolls tomorrow.

Hey I wish I were going...... but I was in Denver last week and have already been to one pre-season and two regular season home games. Balancing the budget to make it to another game this year will be difficult ( //hoping for playoffs) so It is my want that reason prevails and someone ponies up the $260 K to ensure that I can sit on my couch and see the 50 greatest Chargers honored this Sunday.

Make it happen, ye with deep pockets!

November 22nd, 2009: Slaying the Seahorse of Denver

Scoreboard + Strapping Seahorse Statue = Jocular Tourists

Uhhh.....so we're in this picture celebrating near the locker room tunnel at game's end. You see the "Send Fish Tacos" sign? Yea, we didn't make it.......

It was created by the Lucha Libre Charger fans. I'm pretty sure they were fun to party with but since I can't see their faces in this picture, I can't say for sure. However.....

.....I did scavenge their signage from outside the Mile High Station and then proceed to notify the Denver Sheraton that sustenance was needed.

A good time presented in photos.